How to Support Someone Having an Abortion – Aunty Jane

1. Preparing for the Abortion

Before the medical abortion begins, discuss with the person what they need and how you can help. Every person has different preferences, so let them take the lead.

✔️ Learn About the Process

Medical abortion involves two medications:

Mifepristone (Step 1) – Stops the pregnancy from progressing.
Misoprostol (Step 2, taken 24-48 hours later) – Causes the uterus to contract and expel the pregnancy.

✔️ Expect heavy cramping and bleeding within a few hours of taking misoprostol.

✔️ Symptoms are strongest in the first 4-6 hours and gradually subside.

📌 What You Can Do:

✅ Research the process together using reliable sources (such as the World Health Organisation or a reputable abortion provider).

✅ Ensure they have all necessary medications and supplies (pain relief, maxi pads, heating pads, fluids).

✅ Set up a comfortable space where they can rest privately with easy access to a bathroom.

2. Supporting Them During the Abortion

This is the most physically intense part of the experience. Your role is to be present, available, and supportive.

✔️ Offer Physical Comfort

Help manage pain by offering:

Heating pads or hot water bottles for cramps.
Pain medication (such as ibuprofen or paracetamol) as recommended.
Massage on the lower back if they find it soothing.

📌 What You Can Do:

✅ Keep them hydrated and nourished- regularly offer snacks and drinks.

✅ Stay calm and reassuring—your presence alone can be grounding.

✅ Remind them that cramping and bleeding are expected and part of the process.

✅ Help them with bathroom trips if needed, as they may feel weak or dizzy.

✅ Keep a trash bin, tissues, and clean clothes nearby for comfort.

3. Providing Emotional Support

Everyone processes abortion differently. Some feel relieved, some feel emotional, and others feel a mix of both. Your role is not to judge, but to listen and validate their feelings.

✔️ Create a non-judgmental space

Avoid saying things like "Are you sure you made the right choice?"
Instead, offer supportive phrases like:
- "You’re not alone, and I’m here for you."
- "You’re strong, and I support whatever you need."
- "I can imagine this is a lot—whatever you feel is okay."

✔️ Respect their emotional experience

Some people want to talk, others don’t. Let them decide.
If they express sadness, acknowledge their emotions rather than trying to “fix” them.
If they are relieved, support their decision without guilt or stigma.

📌 What You Can Do:

✅ Check in: "Do you want to talk or just have quiet company?"

✅ Offer distraction: Watch movies, listen to music, or simply sit together.

✅ Be patient and understanding, even if emotions change throughout the process.

4. Aftercare: Supporting Their Recovery

Medical abortion is not over immediately after the pregnancy tissue passes. The next few days and weeks are for physical and emotional recovery.

✔️ Monitor for Normal Recovery vs. Warning Signs

✅ Normal symptoms after abortion:

Bleeding similar to a heavy period (lasting up to 2 weeks).
Mild cramping that decreases over time.
Emotional ups and downs as hormones regulate.

🚨 Seek medical attention if they experience:

Excessive bleeding (soaking more than two pads per hour for more than 2 consecutive hours).
Severe pain that doesn’t improve with medication.
Fever or foul-smelling discharge (signs of infection).

✔️ Provide Emotional & Practical Support

Some people bounce back quickly, while others need more time to process.
Check in a few days later: "How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"
If they are struggling emotionally, help them find a post-abortion support service.

📌 What You Can Do:

✅ Offer to help with household tasks if they need extra rest.

✅ Encourage self-care—a bath, a walk, or quiet time.

✅ Respect their privacy—not everyone wants to discuss their abortion openly.

5. Long-Term Support and Advocacy

Abortion stigma can make people feel isolated, even when they are confident in their decision. Long-term support means helping them feel empowered and accepted.

✔️ Respect their choice to share (or not share) their experience.

✔️ If they are facing stigma from family or community, support their decision to keep things private.

✔️ Advocate for reproductive rights—if abortion access is limited in your area, get involved in pro-choice activism.

Final Thoughts

Being a support person during a medical abortion means offering practical help, emotional reassurance, and non-judgmental presence. You don’t need to have all the answers—you just need to show up, listen, and care.

By providing compassionate support, you can help someone feel safe, empowered, and respected in their choice.

The information provided on this website by Aunty Jane in any format or medium, are for general information purposes only and are not intended as medical advice or as a substitute for consultation with a qualified healthcare professional. The information made available by Aunty Jane do not provide personalised medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. To the extent permitted by law, Aunty Jane disclaims all liability for any outcomes resulting from reliance on the information provided. For specific medical concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare professional.

Chen, M. J., & Creinin, M. D. (2020). Mifepristone with buccal misoprostol for medical abortion: A systematic review. Obstetrics & Gynecology, 133(4), 722–731. https://doi.org/10.1097/AOG.0000000000003143
World Health Organization. (2022). Abortion care guideline. https://www.who.int/publications/i/item/9789240039483
Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists. (2023). Medical vs. surgical abortion: What to expect. https://www.ranzcog.edu.au/abortion-care
Healthdirect Australia. (2023, May 17). What happens during an abortion?https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/abortion-process